Monday, February 23, 2009

Your heart is filling up and...

..falling back down from the weight of it all.

One day I found an old black & white photo in my dad's collection from when he was a monk in Weston, VT. It was of an old Schwinn bicycle parked so casually in the middle of an iced over pond. I couldn't help but think "hmm, that seems a bit unusual." I mean, I suppose it's not a far off idea to ride a bike on the ice if you can handle it! But it's not usually something you see. Back then I was definitely going through some tough choices; was in a time of my life that didn't seem right, like I wasn't where I was supposed to be. So relating to this strange image and the loner looking bike was easy; we were both so out of place.

" and this is just like waking up, forgetting all the dreams you had."

Have you ever felt like you were doing something that wasn't quite on your own terms? Maybe you cared so much about someone else that you compromised your own desires to make them happy? Or you have this deep, unexplained feeling that whatever decision you make is going to mean something in the end or perhaps turn out better than you could ever expect? Of course, before any of these realizations can be made, a sense of confusion or maybe even depression is inevitable.

But I believe that you need your dreams to keep you going, make you feel alive; the moment you put an anchor on yourself is the moment you stop feeling the possibilities and the excitement of what you could become...and where you could go. The potential is so great in everyone's lives...yours, mine, even those who have given up long ago.

And of course there are some that do give up hope, that let go of their dreams because they're too hard or too frightening. I used to feel that way. I felt like I was just drifting away and everyone was thinking "why?....why are you letting this happen?" I felt static and alone and didn't really think that my life was going to turn out how I had always envisioned it. The fact of the matter never does. Sometimes you just end up somewhere a bit unexpected. But that's okay. You make the best of it. Like the bicycle on the ice, you adapt and wait for the seasons to change; for when the conditions are right to make your move.

And let's not forget love. Even if it's not for yourself or for what you're doing, love can still help you. Sometimes when you feel lost, confused or disappointed with what you've done, the love you have for others can bring you back; make you feel important again...maybe even motivated. If your heart fills up you'll feel less empty. That's just a given.

So...simply fill up your heart. It will end up where it needs to be and you will follow it,...even to places where you didn't quite expect to go or where you might not feel like you belong. Eventually it will all make sense. It did for me...

1 comment:

  1. I like what you've written in this statement here, and I think it's something we should all be aware of in the various experiences and situations we find ourselves involved with ~ each of us has an individuality that remains identifying, and the potential for creative expression in whatever we might encounter as we go about living our lives ~ many times, as you say, the situations are not those in which we might have expected to find ourselves, but spontaneity is a wonderful extension of our imaginations...

    Many musicians will say that the ability to recover well from hitting an 'unexpected' note or phrase is a good indicator of an individual's inherent creativity ~ I think we could say that it applies in the general day-to-day, too