Thursday, September 24, 2009

There is a Light In Your Eyes

We push and pull and I fall down sometimes....

My girlfriend and I saw Mat Kearney last night at the Boston House of Blues and it was a long time coming. Back in February when Melissa and I really started to get to know each other, it was Mat Kearney that filled our car space on 3 hour long road trips interrupted by random foggy roads and cemeteries, iced over ponds and just-over-the-line state welcome centers. We found ourselves relating to the lyrics and the stories he tells of love and self-discovery. It's not every day you come across an artist that makes you feel like he or she is actually you in the future or that you're on the same path as they were before they wrote the words you so closely relate to. Melissa says over and over again - "You guys are practically the same person". haha We do seem to have a lot of the same things to say.

Like I suspect Mat Kearney felt at one point, I have been feeling like I'm not too great in relationships. I tend to have commitment and focus issues and I attribute a lot of that to losing a close intimate connection with my mom at such an early age, afraid of getting too close in fear of losing them perhaps. Melissa has a lot of patience with me and seems to understand my "push and pull" tendencies though it's not totally easy for her. She's remarkable in her tolerance. I do tend to stumble back quite a bit but I know I'll get there, the place that I'm comfortable where I am and every step forward is full of life and not fear. The show last night brought Melissa and I even closer, reminding us of those early days when we were learning everything about each other: who we were, who we are and who we want to be.

I saw three of my favorite bands this week and loved each of them in their own way. U2 was nothing short of brilliant and revisiting my passion for them with my best buddy Chad was incredible while Snow Patrol brought out that rhythmic energy in me that I have been longing for. However, I have to say that the deep connection I found with a guy who's life seems to run parallel to that of my own, who lights up a small venue with his down-to-earth, "my brother went to BU", like charm, will stick with me always. He sings of changes within himself and a hope for a more grounded and fulfilled life of love and hope and I aspire to be more like that.

And having the girl you grew to love with his music by your side only helps to amplify that feeling.

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